2017/10/31

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Have you ever gone on a date which, in your opinion, went quite well, but the guy/girl hasn't texted you back ever since, which made you feel unwell, used or self-conscious? Have you ever heard gossip about yourself that made you question your actions? Have you ever entered a room where what seemed like hundreds of eyes observed you, passing judgment on every piece of clothing that you wear, every step you take, every movement you make?

Or, let´s talk in a more general way: have you ever become more self-conscious or even unsure about yourself and your choices because of other people? I have, and I´m pretty sure that I´m not the only one. And now, take a moment and think about why that´s the case. Why do we even care that much? Why does our own vision changes depending on other people´s consent or discontent?

I had a conversation with a few friends the other day about the first question that I come to ask you and about the fact that I didn't feel hurt or used in any way. You know what their reaction was? They didn't believe me, which triggered off quite a few thoughts on that subject. And really, why didn't I react to such a behaviour? Why wasn't I hurt, angry or at least a little huffy? Why did I care that little?

I can´t really give a proper answer to that question, or more those questions ( which are the main reason why this post goes under the little train of thought category than common knowledge ), but I truly believe that one of the many reasons is that I´ve learnt to care less about people´s opinion and their behavior towards me. I can´t say that I don´t care at all - of course, I get hurt when I hear people talking bad things or passing judgment over me, but I guess that I´ve learnt to deal with it and more or less ignore it, because honestly, at the end of the day it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what others think of you, it doesn't matter what they talk about you, and it doesn't matter how they behave towards you. All that shouldn't define how you see yourself and how you feel about things.

People talk - that´s simply what they do and neither a change in your behaviour nor a forced-on persona based on your deep self-reflection will change something. I know that it sounds easier than it is, but honestly: do you! You don´t have to please anybody except for yourself, and if you´re happy with the person you are and the choices you make, then you seem to be on the right track.

Don´t let anybody tell you how you should behave, feel or look, because, at the end of the day, YOU are the only one who has to live with the outcome for a lifetime. So if you feel like texting the cute guy you met the other day, then you should definitely text him. And if you want to wear a pink, fluffy jumper ( I got you girl! ), then hell yes, go for it! Because, what´s the worst thing that can happen? That people say no or pass judgment on you? Wow, that´s nothing compared to what could happen if you´d simply go out there and live your best life. I don´t mean to sound yolo or like a hippie. I´m just a firm believer that you only have a very short amount of time on this earth that has to offer you sooo much, and it would be a shame if you would spend your time wondering about everything other people think, do or say, instead of enjoying yourself and doing everything you would like to do. Also, I do think that you should never focus as much on your surrounding as you should focus on yourself because your happiness and your wellbeing are the most important thing and shouldn't depend on other people as a consequence. Hope we´re on the same page for that one.

Have a nice day, everybody! xx
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1 comment

  1. I love this. I think learning not to give a damn about others is definitely something that comes with age - I'm still getting there myself!xx

    Lucy | www.lucy-cole.co.uk

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